My burden is my soulmate

2021–2022 Performance, Video, Installation, Sound
Close overhead view of the performer lying on their side, their nude body and face densely coated in shimmering pink glitter. Their bleached hair spreads across the coal beneath their head. Both arms fold closely across the torso, one glitter-covered hand resting against the chest. White roses lie immediately above their shoulder and head, their pale petals contrasting with the pink glitter and irregular black pieces of coal.
Wide view of the performer lying curled on their side on a long rectangular black platform. Their nude body is densely coated in pink glitter from face to feet. Their knees draw upward toward the torso, one arm bends behind the head and the other folds close to the body. White roses lie directly in front of their face and chest. The platform is surrounded by a floor covered with irregular pieces of black coal.
Side view of the performer lying tightly curled on their right side on a long black platform. Their nude body, face and limbs are densely covered in shimmering pink glitter. Their knees are drawn toward the torso, the arms folded inward, and the head rests sideways close to white roses. Their eyes are closed and their bleached hair lies against the dark surface beneath the head.
Close horizontal view of the performer lying on their side on a black platform. Dense pink glitter covers the nude shoulder, torso, hip and bent legs. Their head rests sideways with the eyes closed, one arm curves over the upper body, and long-stemmed white roses lie lengthwise against the front of their body.
Tight close-up of the performer’s glitter-covered hands, bent legs and lower torso around white roses. Dense pink glitter coats the skin and scatters across the dark surface beneath the body. One hand presses into the white rose heads while the other rests nearby, fingers curled among the flowers.
Photography: Erdem Akkaya

Starting with research on resistant and tender images of the marginalized body, My burden is my soulmate is about how to address queer grief, anger and compassion when one is an incessant target of hate and disgust.

By engaging with tableau vivant corporeality but extending the tableau's timescale to six hours, My burden is my soulmate delves into physical and emotional limits, boundaries, and the potential of the queer body throughout the lines of vulnerability and strength.

Extreme close-up of the performer’s pink-glitter-covered body and hands among white roses. One hand presses between the rose heads and green leaves, its fingers spread against the flowers, while another glitter-covered part of the body rises behind it. Pink glitter coats the skin and scatters across the dark surface and flower petals.
Photography: Erdem Akkaya
The performer stands nude against a pale grey background, their entire visible body and face densely covered in shimmering pink glitter. Both arms stretch upward above the head, hands clasped around the long green stems of white roses. Their torso bends sideways beneath the raised arms while the roses extend outward above them.
Full-body view of the performer standing upright against a pale grey background, nude and densely covered in pink glitter. One arm extends vertically overhead, holding white roses high above the body by their long green stems. The other arm hangs straight beside the torso. Their face looks forward beneath short bleached hair, while the raised roses form the highest point of the figure.
Close view of the performer’s upper body, densely covered in pink glitter. Both arms extend straight upward and cross closely above the head, with one hand gripping the opposite wrist. Their face turns slightly to the side beneath the raised arms; the mouth is closed and the gaze directed outward. Pink glitter covers the face, neck, chest, shoulders and arms.
Close portrait of the performer holding a large cluster of white roses tightly against their chest with both hands. Their face, shoulders, chest and arms are densely coated in pink glitter. Their head tilts downward toward the flowers and their eyes are lowered. Short bleached hair is pulled back from the face while the white petals and green leaves press closely against the glitter-covered torso.
Side view of the nude performer, their body densely covered in pink glitter, holding long-stemmed white roses out in front of them. One arm reaches upward to grip the stems while the other hand supports them from below. Their head tilts back and the face turns upward toward the raised flowers. Long bleached hair falls down the back.
The performer sits on a bed of irregular black coal pieces with both legs folded to one side. Their nude body and face are densely covered in pink glitter. One arm reaches vertically upward, holding white roses by their long stems, while the other hand presses into the coal beside the hip for support. Their torso remains upright beneath the raised flowers.
The performer kneels directly on a bed of irregular black coal pieces, their nude body densely covered in pink glitter. Both arms rise above the head to hold white roses by their long stems. The elbows bend slightly and the flowers tilt to one side above the body. One lower leg extends sideways across the coal while the torso rises upright from the kneeling position.
Photography: Uygar Önder Şimşek

Within references of one of the first public manifestations of queer movement as hunger strike held mainly by trans women against police repression and violence in 1987 through the roses and Nazi times queer massacre through the color pink, Leman Sevda Darıcıoğlu appropriates the Pietà of Michelangelo in Compassion, replaces raising fist as symbol of revolutionary movements with raising roses in Anger and takes the shape of queer corpse in site of murders in Grief to create a monumental performance trilogy engaging in queer resilience and vulnerability.

Leman invites the audience on a journey through the body, tracing the violence, confinement, and restriction. Through 6 hour-long performances, the body reveals itself within a shift between different states of stillness, almost-stillness, and not-possible-stillness. It becomes a site of grief, fragility, and resistance.

After the performance, the coal used in the work was donated to a queer squat, where it was used for heating.

Overhead view of white roses lying alone on a bed of irregular black coal pieces. Their long green stems are gathered together beneath the pale flower heads, surrounded on all sides by the uneven coal.
Photography: Uygar Önder Şimşek
LISTEN TO SOUND PIECE · realized in collaboration with Fırat Yıldız
Video still showing the performer from the chest upward against a pale background. Their face, neck, shoulders and upper chest are densely covered in pink glitter. They hold white roses closely against the chest with both hands and turn their head sharply to the side, looking away from the flowers.
View through a doorway into a pale gallery space. A white wall conceals most of the performer, leaving only part of their pink-glitter-covered body visible beyond its edge. One arm reaches horizontally into the opening and a hand holds white roses outward, while the rest of the body remains hidden behind the architecture.
Video still showing the performer from the chest upward against a pale background. Their face, shoulders and torso are densely covered in pink glitter. With the head slightly lowered and the eyes closed or nearly closed, they cradle white roses tightly against the chest with both arms, the flower heads gathered immediately beneath the face.
Video still showing the performer from the chest upward against a pale grey background. Pink glitter densely covers their shoulders, arms and upper torso, while the face appears less densely covered. They look downward toward white roses held across the chest, one hand touching the flowers. Their bleached hair is tied back, with longer pale hair falling behind the head.
Photography: 2nd photo: Gün Üçok. 1-3 Video stills by Gülbin Eris
Schwules Museum
Close vertical view of the performer’s pink-glitter-covered torso and arms holding a dense cluster of white roses against the body. One hand wraps around the long green stems while the other arm crosses underneath them. The white flower heads fill the upper part of the frame and partially obscure the performer’s face.
In a dark exhibition space, the glitter-covered performer stands in profile at the right of the frame, holding white roses close to their chest and facing a rectangular video image. On the screen, their recorded glitter-covered body lies curled on its side beside white roses. The standing live body and the reclining recorded body occupy opposite sides of the dark space.
Photography: Uygar Önder Şimşek
bi'bak, Sinema Transtopia
Night-time exterior view across a street toward a long building façade. Through a brightly illuminated horizontal window, a reclining figure and pale roses are visible inside as a small bright scene. The body is framed by the window and separated from the viewpoint by the dark street, glass and distance.
Wide night-time exterior view of a dark building and street. A long illuminated window cuts horizontally across the façade; inside it, a small reclining figure and pale roses can be made out against the bright interior. Signs, windows and architectural details extend across the surrounding building.
Photography: Leman Sevda Darıcıoğlu
Ornamenta24, Stadtmuseum Pforzheim
Wide view inside a museum interior. The performer sits high on the edge of a large architectural ledge, holding white roses against their torso. Their pink-glitter-covered body appears small within the tall interior, surrounded by pale walls, a staircase with a dark railing, framed artworks and a brightly coloured stained-glass window.
Close portrait of the performer with their face, neck, shoulders and chest densely covered in shimmering pink glitter. They hold white roses against the lower edge of the frame. Their head is slightly bowed, eyes directed downward and lips closed. Short bleached hair stands away from the forehead while longer pale hair falls behind the head.
Photography: Karolina Sobel
Notes
My burden is my soulmate is a continuation of White roses, pink glitter
Presentations
Schwules Museum, Berlin, Germany, 2021
bi'bak, Sinema Transtopia, Istanbul, Turkey, 2021
Ornamenta24 pre-event, Stadtmuseum Pforzheim, Pforzheim, Germany, 2024
Credits
My burden is my soulmate, by Leman Sevda Darıcıoğlu, performance, video, installation and sound, 2021–2022
Performance duration: 6 hours; Ornamenta24 presentation: 2 hours
Sound collaboration, Schwules Museum: Anthony Hüseyin
Sound collaboration, Ornamenta24, Stadtmuseum Pforzheim: Fırat Yıldız
Each presentation includes collaboration with a local musician/sound artist
Funded by the Federal Government Commissioner for Culture and Media Germany and SAHA Association
Sound Performance Video Sound Precarity Grief Ghosts Tableau Vivant Research Exhaustion Research Long-durational Collective Memory Art History References Roses Glitter
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