looking after a rose

photo by gülbin eris, kayhan kaygusuz.

672 hours-long performance without interval
as a part of “needed:you”, a 672 hours long live process, curated by simge burhanoğlu.
16 february-16 march 2018. istanbul.

if they ask me what I’ve done these past years;
i admired the beauty of a thorned rose and hung onto it as i tried to keep it alive.

i had a big window with a door on it, to split the room i was into, to two part as the part of audience and mine. i lived in that 7 square meters room part covered with soil and planted rose trees in it for 28 days. i sometimes opened the door to let the audience come into my room one by one. while the sun was raising up i cut one rose branch everyday and spent my day by looking at that one til the sun goes down. i put a “time cut” on myself when the sun dropped and hanged my rose to the wall.

photo by gülbin eris

an after letter:

every day started from one branch of rose and ended on my skin while i passed through my depths, my far ends in the journey of looking after a rose. in the room i inhabited for 28 days without getting out, under the bed I slept for 28 nights, there have been times that I saw the ground was full-covered by black scorpions. i’ve passed from my deepest darkness. thereby i, sometimes, wanted to burn, to set afire my diary i kept a record of my weakness. thereby i, sometimes, wanted to throw myself out of window.

i did not burn my diary. i did not throw myself out. in my room that the floor was covered with soil, i stayed with a rose branch everyday.

because i wanted to have the knowledge of going down under the deep water haven’t seen a light for thousands years.

because i believed that there is no power as transformative as the knowledge of self. and moreover transformation is only possible by the knowledge of self.

because i believed that 10(+2) people showing the will power to go inside a building and 10(+2) people opening themselves up to others has the power to change the world.

after 28 days the bed became a part of mine, after the performance i comprehended it when i turned to my own and saw that i can look under the bed wherever i’m just by closing my eyes.

under my bed i saw a nervous and scared deep-water-creature. soft. without a shell. the reason why they get angry was stemming from this possibility of being hurt because they had not a shell to protect theirself.

nowadays that dee-water-mollusc doesn’t need to hide under bed. they didn’t only get used to the light, they even liked it.

to the people who made this journey possible;
first of all to gaye and ömer burhanoğlu that made this building possible,
to simge burhanoğlu who made this process possible with the belief in touching people, in human beings and in journey,
and to the realization of a dream that created by her and where i am so happy to be part of, to performistanbul,

to derya dinç, if she didn’t build the path day and night, we would have been devastated,

to ekin bernay, with her relieving voice that comes from the next room,

to i. ata doğruel with his music coming from upstairs,

to mk yurttaş and aslı dinç who showed sharing can remove the differences between species,

to gülhatun yıldırım who redefined the boundries between inside and outside while staying outside of the building she made real a form of being inside,

to özlem ünlü that reminded me again that performance is a healing process,

to batu bozoğlu who opened new perspectives in my mind about body-sound-boundries with making his body a apparatus for sound,

to ebru sargın who put her privacy on display with placing a camera in her house,

to selin kocagöncü, who made people feel the beauty of being alone in dark with their own bodies

to our volunteers that worked hard; cemre, enes, hüseyin, fulya, gamze, su and uğur,

to ali ihsan who was the biggest viewer of 9 works and to all security team,

to everyone whom was in the kitchen of needed: You,

to all the audience that came for 28 days (and they were the ones who were creators of this performance with or without knowing it),

and for sure to kayhan kaygusuz and gülbin eris who recorded the process in a perfect way,

with gratitude…

16 april 18 – istanbul.