herstory of sexuality


herstory of sexuality,
mixed media.
2015 – …

the “herstory of sexuality” series i created based upon my childhood stories, is a journey of going back, in my own past. this journey takes place in the home of a white, heterosexual family. in every step i took into my past, i began to realize that the walls of this house are so fragile that it can only survive on the shoulders of its inhabitants. in order for the house not to shatter, the bodies have to shatter, and the inhabitants have to pretend that whatever happens isn’t actually happening, leaving the events in silence. the inhabitants hold onto this silence firmly. the white, heterosexual family legend is pursued blissfully with the silence that mounts the inhabitants of the house.

without talking about
writing, drawing on notebook.
istanbul, 2015.

it consists of a pink covered notebook standing above the graphic of a cube-shaped box drawn on a checkered sheet of paper. the narrative inside the notebook begins with an introduction sentence that can initiate many stories*: “we were laying next to each other.” then follows a sample of the box below the notebook, which will be seen increasingly throughout the notebook. sentences follow with increasing number of cubes interfering: ‘without eye contact’ / ‘we were surrounded by the darkness of the night’ / ‘without talking about it’ / ‘we’ / ‘didn’t’ / ‘act’ / ‘any’ / ‘different’ / ‘than’ / ‘close’ / ‘friends’ / ‘do’ / ‘around others’ the whole narrative has been revealed by blacking out the imprinted handwriting on white paper.

it deals with a sexuality which is experienced but not expressed or talked about. it has been created with questions such as ‘can sexuality be implied without using a terminology directly related to it’, ‘can the ‘spacelessness’ between body and sexuality be handled in terms of its relation with the space created by memory and language (and the absence of it)’.

it expresses that in a deeply rooted political tradition that puts talking about the ‘societal matters’ before talking about sexuality, without really talking about it, sexuality and societal matters are discussed through the same absence of expression and that this absence of expression is similarly traumatic.

best friends 4ever
neddlework on 1mx1m golden cloth.

best friends 4ever adresses the unspoken women’s sexuality. as we approach the embroidery / stitchery which looks like the repetition of the same image from afar; a pattern of a woman on a horseback and another one standing on the ground, we realise that each woman is different from the other, there is just one repetition: the women on horseback holds a leash that is attached to neck of the women on the ground.

while the title is a reference to the ignorance of the desire between women under the pretence of friendship, a woman on horseback and another one below evokes the prince charming image which is both a childhood cliche and an example of gender mainstreaming. non-straight sexuality celebrated with the golden fabric, tears down the straight dream by embracing it with bdsm aesthetics and lesbianism.